Denise Billen-Mejia 0:07
Welcome to Two hypnotherapists talking with me, Denise Billen-Mejia in Delaware, USA.
Martin Furber 0:13
And me Martin Furber in Preston UK.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:16
This weekly podcast is for anyone and everyone who would like to know more about fascinating subject of hypnosis and the benefits that offers.
Martin Furber 0:24
I'm a clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:27
I'm a retired medical doctor turned consulting hypnotist.
Martin Furber 0:31
We are two hypnotherapists talking.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:34
So let's get on with the episode.
Hey, Martin, how are you?
Martin Furber 0:40
Hey, Denise, happy New Year.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:42
Oh, yes, of course. Full disclosure, we are recording this right before Christmas. But by the time anybody's listening, it's definitely, we're well into the new year. Yeah, actually. Yeah. The three things that happen in January Christmas, which is you know, I have Christmas, my anniversary, new year and my birthday. Now the season's over. My Birthday's happened, and I can get on with my year. And I think that's what you and I were going to talk about.
Martin Furber 1:10
Oh, yeah. We can't do the first one of the new year without talking about New Year's resolutions.
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:15
Yeah. Do you have any? That you want to talk about I mean? Not the things that are private.
Martin Furber 1:23
Just, just to resist the surgeon's knife for another year! No, no, seriously. No, I've got a new mantra for the new year don't have any New Year's resolutions. I've got a new mantra, because of course, I'm working with those consultant psychiatrists now and things. I know my stuff. I know my place.
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:45
Yes, good.
Martin Furber 1:47
That's my new mantra / resolutions.
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:49
But I don't think you were ever confused about what your position in the various parts of healthcare were right. You just want to make sure other people understand.
Martin Furber 1:57
Yeah, I just want to make sure that people know that I know where I fit in, as a complementary therapist.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:04
Do you have personal resolutions or are these business resolutions?
Martin Furber 2:08
I don't tend to go for resolutions. Not that I have anything against them. I tend to sort of like, plan ahead and on an ongoing basis throughout the year, rather than saying this is this date, I will do this by then.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:24
Right, but of course, um, I think you have the same but you know, it's the end of the tax year is the 31st of December here for for normal people.
Martin Furber 2:32
6th, of April for us.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:33
Yes, no, we have to file in April but the, everything that came in before the midnight of the night of the 31st. That's the cut off. So so it's a natural place to make business decisions. Okay, clean slate, can't write today's stuff off last year. This is this is where I'm going now. The personal stuff is the stuff I think that gets dumped really early. But by the time this has been listened to we've already had a week into new year. Many resolutions have probably passed.
Martin Furber 3:07
Yeah, usually the smoking and drinking ones have usually broke those by about five minutes past midnight, because they're still in the New Year's Eve moment. Yeah, a lot of people. So then they try and start the next day, possibly hungover. So it's, oh I'll just another little drink.
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:24
Yeah. It is hard. Yeah. Plus, it's still, you know, in this hemisphere. It's still cold and dark.
Martin Furber 3:34
It's still Christmas season, 6th of January of course, you know, for those that follow the 12 night thing. But yeah, let's talk a little bit about resolutions then.
about
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:44
Yeah. Okay. So what kind of resolutions and what kind of things can you put in place? That helps you keep them. For a start, I think we should say something about realistic resolutions.
Martin Furber 3:54
Yeah, realistic.
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:56
I know. I'm gonna quit smoking and I'm gonna lose 40 pounds. I'm gonna do that.
Martin Furber 3:59
Yeah, yeah, that's it. I was just gonna say realistic resolutions, start with one. Start with one because anybody to my mind, who is going to try and A: lose weight or get on top of their weight issues, and B: Give up smoking at the same time is doomed to failure on probably, on both.
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:12
Or at least extreme unhappiness. Yeah, they're going through it. Yeah. Yeah.
Martin Furber 4:23
I mean, it's understanding more about how we develop these habits over a period of time. How we alter ourselves and our state of mind. Which is, of course where we help, for people to alter their relationship to things be that food or smoking or whatever. You know, I would say just try and give up one thing at a time.
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:48
Well, the resolution doesn't have to be give up either. No, you can. You can frame
Martin Furber 4:53
You may want to do more of something!
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:54
Yes, exactly. I mean, you can frame weight loss into I'm going to eat healthier.
Martin Furber 4:58
I always say that. That's the first line of my book. No one likes a loser, so don't be one!
Denise Billen-Mejia 5:06
Yes.
Martin Furber 5:06
Don't talk about losing weight. Talk about gaining...
Denise Billen-Mejia 5:09
Okay. Now this, this will be a fun question because it actually isn't yet January as we're speaking. So, how close to finishing that book are you?
Martin Furber 5:16
Oh, maybe that was the prompt I need to finish it!
Denise Billen-Mejia 5:22
Because you did you went, you made the decision, and made time and really worked on it.
Martin Furber 5:29
Yeah. Yeah. So I think, I think we're just at the end polishing and perfection stage at the moment. But you know, I always say, don't be a loser. We're not programmed to lose we're programmed to hunt and gather and acquire.
Denise Billen-Mejia 5:45
And hoard.
Martin Furber 5:45
And hoard yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 5:46
Which is another answer. Yeah. Because you never know what's going to happen.
Martin Furber 5:53
Yeah, well, this is it. I can remember being a kid actually and asking one of my grandparents. Why have you got all this food in the larder? There were stacks of tins and bags of sugar. 'I case there's a war'
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:05
Yeah. Yeah. No, of course that was very real.
Martin Furber 6:10
It was then back in the 60s Because of course, it was only 20 years since...
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:13
Yeah, isn't it funny when you look back now, when I remember... Do you remember? What was it all our yesterday's? It was a weekly show. I think, it wasn't David Dimbleby but it was one of those types who... it was 25 years ago today, this was happening, this was happening. I couldn't ever figure out why on earth are they going on about this ancient war? Because I was born, you know, eight years later. It was, it was really...and now when I look back, it was practically yesterday. Such a different view of time as you age.
Martin Furber 6:48
Oh, absolutely. You know, I used to laugh when I was younger. And people say, Oh, the years go quicker as you get older.
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:54
Right!
Martin Furber 6:55
I used to laugh at that and think... Well, they do! They absolutely...or your perception of time changes.
Denise Billen-Mejia 7:00
Because time isn't real. But no, but that's all too philosophical for this podcast. Yeah, it's the wrong podcast.
Martin Furber 7:06
So, getting back to resolutions then, and yeah, okay, so my tip would be only try one thing at once, and go with that one.
Denise Billen-Mejia 7:15
Well, you can, you can plan, you can say this year, I'm going to quit smoking. Because we both know that that can be almost instantaneous, if you're really serious. Because unlike eating, you either smoke or you don't. With eating, you got to eat. So, it, that obviously, obviously takes you much longer. So, personally, I would advise a client to quit smoking first. Because, a quickish win. Depending on how prepared if they really want to, I think it helps them almost immediately. But of course their tastebuds start coming back to them. So they're gonna need help with the food.
Martin Furber 7:17
Yeah, then they eat more Yeah. Right. Because the other thing you just mentioned there is if they want to, well, there's no point trying if you don't want to because you won't succeed.
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:07
Well, you will. Yeah, what you really want, is just to continue your habits. You're right on track for those? Yeah. So do you advocate making a little mental list or even a physical list of what you actually wish to achieve in the year? Or do you ask your clients, do you suggest that then they make shorter increments, I'm going to have a first quarter resolution, I'm gonna have a second quarter resolution, you can call them seasons if you prefer. Have a winter resolution, a spring resolution, a summer resolution, or just don't try and make more than one change per two months or something like that.
Martin Furber 8:47
If I'm looking ahead with somebody, with a client, I will ask them, what will they be doing, if they've achieved everything they want to achieve through the year what will they be doing 12 months from now? Tell me about that. And get them to tell me in detail about how that will be in describe it, as to what they will be doing, what they won't be doing. And then we take a look back and see the steps they would have taken to get there. So, we're positively introspecting rather than negatively introspecting. And that's all part of the process in examining the mindset before we embark on treatment as it were. It's actually identifying the things themselves, they need to do, to achieve these steps.
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:32
So what other kinds of things, I mean it's smoking and weight because also people are looking forward to summer and being able to go the beach and all those things. Do you deal with, or do you deal with, at all with, with people who need to change their body image? That's a huge amount to do with...
Martin Furber 9:49
Yeah. Well, body image, weight management they're, you know that they're linked. No, it's more other things where people are asking for example: I want to be more confident in 12 months time. So I would say, what would you be doing when you, ''when'' you are more confident? Not if. When, when you are more confident? What would you be doing? How would that be? Who would notice? What would they notice? And again, get the client to really positively visualise that future, that future-self. Again, the more they start to describe it, the more they're going to get a feel for it.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:28
Yeah, I get a lot of people who consider, obviously, almost everybody doesn't matter what they come to first, they always wind up talking about weight loss, because this is America, a lot of people with issues. But body image is a large part of that. Because there's... people don't come in one size, we all seem to try and get to be one size. Anyway, another issue. Anyway, more exercise, do you, do you find a lot of people come because they want to actually use the gym membership that they have and not be wasting their money? Or do they want to? What, what is the primary driver for them wanting to establish a fitter lifestyle? Yeah, more efficiently.
Martin Furber 10:31
So strangely enough, most of the people I see, I seem to attract people in my age group. And when I say that, I mean the broad spectrum of 40 Plus, rather than people under 40. Because I'm well over 40. Anything to do with weight, or going to the gym or anything else, it is all about getting healthier, always seems to stem from getting healthy. And nobody comes to me because they want to suddenly be an Olympic athlete, or turn into a muscle man, for example. But they do Yeah, they may well want to go to the gym and tone up. As well, I suppose, I'm unfortunate that these people have realistic expectations. You know, somebody came to me that was 12 Stone dripping wet and said they want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, then I'm not the therapist for them,
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:06
Especially if they're already 40.
Martin Furber 12:08
Yeah, they need a personal trainer at the gym rather than a hypnotherapist.
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:13
But they might need some help with getting out of bed in the morning and going to that appointment with the personal trainer.
Martin Furber 12:22
In which case I can help Yeah, yes. What about what about the kinds of people you get with resolutions?
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:27
A lot of confidence, a lot of, we tend to attract people who are on the same sort of general demographic, so I get a lot of women who are older, like me, a lot of newly single and therefore uncertain. Yes, yes, that is true, unlike that, and I'm not single but there are a lot of women who have become single, for whatever reason, that's being certainly part of the equation and our age group. And they, they, they're used to interaction with the world one way and now they've got to figure it out some other way. Some of them have been divorced or widowed two or three years before. And so and they don't know how to, they don't know how they should feel when they go out and try and socialise. So a lot of it is confidence. So yeah, and sometimes there'll be a little bit of weight in there, and there'll be a little bit of this in there, body image and, but a lot of people actually, I might say a lot, but several, have come because they're not confident in their conversational skills. Okay, so it's that sort of thing. I don't teach elocution.
Martin Furber 13:44
'The Rain in Spain!'
Denise Billen-Mejia 13:45
Yes, exactly. Well, we're in America, that would really confuse people. But a lot of it is looking back at things they've been successful in, and many of them are really successful people who have had great careers. Of course, there's that double whammy that happens. People retired, and then they were widowed or they retired, and that changed the family dynamic. And they got divorced, or, you know, they didn't realise how much of their social life was driven by the office, and the friendships they had within that.
Martin Furber 14:21
Yeah, or even yeah, like you say the office sort of things, invited to social events as a couple whether the woman was there with because of her career with her partner, or she was there supporting her husband or partner are different contexts again.
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:37
Right. So, so I get a lot of that and therefore, a lot of the work that we do is just them reflecting. Going back. Remember, I know you don't do regression, but baby regression, we go back to last week's dinner party. The successes that you had at that party,
Martin Furber 14:54
When I say I don't do regression, we don't go back and try and find a past life or find out, I don't know if you were Anne Boyelyn or something. Certainly, out of trance in the pre-talk, certainly, we can talk about past successes and identify strengths. Absolutely, we can.
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:14
Yeah, so that's a lot. And then, but I don't know that somebody will come to me, related to new year for a phobia or a fear, but they might, if it's things like fear of public speaking, and they've decided they need to do something about their career this year. Or get a handle on their finances. I mean, hypnosis can help in so many areas. It it's really difficult to tell. You had one, in our pre-talk, before we hit record here, you have been talking about hoarding.
Martin Furber 15:44
Hmm,
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:46
I think my issue is, oh, my God, I'm an awful hoarder. That I had so much stuff I had to get rid of when we got rid of our huge house and move to a medium sized house. And this one is in danger of filling up. I find it very difficult as do many people to, to give away or get rid of, if I can, if I can gift something, give something to somebody who comes out 'Oh that's lovely!' Would you like to take it home? That's that I can do that. But sort of I, I have sort of an issue with abandoning things that have, that have probably been in my basement for 20 years. So I think that it's...I don't hoard. I don't have stacks and stacks of stacks of books. But I don't have stacks of National Geographic and that sort of thing. But it's very hard for me to be disciplined in the Marie Kondo way that says, One new thing comes in, one new thing, one old thing leaves. That's very hard.
Martin Furber 16:48
And only have a capsule wardrobe of 20 clothes.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:51
No, that wouldn't work at all. Even though you probably only see 20. There's a lot of others in the closet. And of course, that relates to the other thing, several of them are different sizes.
Martin Furber 17:03
Oh yeah, I'm still sorting through some of my old stuff from when I was rather larger than I am now.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:09
Now that's it, what is the conversation that your subconscious is having? Is it expecting you to need them again? Are you just stuck to some cost thing? I spent good money on that. I'm gonna hang on to it.
Martin Furber 17:22
No, no, no, because I will give anything away to the charity shops, that's fine, they're always glad of it. But now, I've kept one or two things back, just to remind me I never want to be that size again.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:33
Oh, that's yeah, that's a good use.
Martin Furber 17:35
Yeah, it's like, I'll look at a pair of jeans that are sort of 'that' wide and think. No, we're not going there again.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:42
Yeah.
Martin Furber 17:43
So that's why I...
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:44
That's interesting though, I know. You don't get there. You've you've bravely put your pictures on your website. You don't find that sufficient reminder?
Martin Furber 17:55
Um, well, yeas but I don't sit looking at me website all day long.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:01
But presumably, you don't look at your closet that often.
Martin Furber 18:04
No, I came out of that years ago.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:07
Very good - touche!
Martin Furber 18:09
No, it's just a couple of bits I kept to one side, another one is a huge T-shirt. That's got a logo embroidered on it from back in the day when I was a jeweller. So it's got my old shop logo on it.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:21
Oh, yeah that's a nice reason.
Martin Furber 18:23
I keep it for that reason only, because I didn't have any small ones to keep hold of, because I wasn't small.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:29
Right.
Martin Furber 18:30
So I've only got one in Bell tent size.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:33
Oh, bell-tents remind me of the Girl Guides. So you don't really think that? Do you or Nick have an issue with hoarding? Your house is fairly organised?
Martin Furber 18:46
Okay...
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:47
Or is it something that you fight, that you need to remember? And keep?
Martin Furber 18:51
Oh no...
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:51
No, no, I don't mean to fight about it, I mean you fight the issue. Do you have to constantly remind yourself not to hoard?
Martin Furber 18:57
It's cyclical. We sort of go through this thing of, you know.. Oh, that's nice, we'll buy that and we'll probably see, and we'll put that there. And then the more stuff you have in your house, the less the corners get cleaned and the muckier it gets. Then every so often, it's like, right, we're throwing all that crap out.
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:17
Then you go and buy new crap!
Martin Furber 19:19
Well, it goes in the garage in boxes or it goes in the attic or whatever.
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:23
Right.
Martin Furber 19:23
And then the place looks a bit bare. So, you start to ask for more bits and pieces and it just goes in cycles. And then every so often, you start to clear out the attic and the garage. The last time the garage... I loved Covid. I loved lockdown, and our garage here at the house you couldn't get in it was up full with stuff that... All of which we never knew we needed at the time! But we did.
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:46
And yet, what use was in the garage.
Martin Furber 19:50
Well, yeah, exactly. So during Covid, during lockdown, one occasion there was about six weeks of gorgeous sunny weather which was perfect, because you weren't allowed to go out of your own garden, other than for shopping or exercise. So I ordered this Dexion shelving for the, to go round the back of the garage. And we took everything out the garage into the sunshine sorted through the lot, put the things we wanted to keep that we thought were essential, which we still haven't used any of it, onto shelves and got the rest of it disposed of one way or the other, either in the charity shops when they reopened, gave it away to people, or some of it went down to the recycling centre, which has a growing band of people who go there to root through everything and then take it away anyway; so it doesn't actually go in the tip anyway, so that's fine. So that was brilliant. But since then, no, we've acquired more and more rubbish.
Denise Billen-Mejia 20:47
But you don't...It's just a convenience thing. Yeah, because there are people who truly can't throw anything away. There are people who I remember when, several decades ago now, when we were house shopping. I went to see somebody's house and it literally was so, it was like something out of a movie. There was so many stacks of National Geographic and old newspapers that you could not move from one room to the other. It was probably a lovely house, but I couldn't mentally get past all this. It was it was dangerous to walk. Very interesting that she had a showing and her realtor had not had a conversation with her about, probably tried to have that conversation. So people who have that kind of issue, that level need professional help, possibly from an organiser as well as a hypnotist or some other form of therapy. But for most people, it's just the inertia of making a decision about things.
Martin Furber 21:43
Yeah, there's that, or as you say, for the people who need help. It's that, some kind of fear of letting go of the things.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:53
Well your grandmother and her canned goods. I mean, how could you ...
Martin Furber 21:57
Some kind of insecurity that we may need this in the future or whatever. No, with us, some of it's just downright untidiness, because we are both extremely guilty of opening cupboards and just throwing things in. And then there comes a day when you open the door and it all falls out and you know, you've got to sort it then.
Denise Billen-Mejia 22:16
Yeah, but the question is whether...If it's not causing discord in the home, if it's not you, if living like that is not really a problem for you. Then it's not a problem for you, and so you don't need to fix that. But if it was, every time you went to get something in the coat closet 15 things fell on your head. Yeah, it would be different.
Martin Furber 22:44
Yeah, absolutely. No, it's not that kind of an issue. I mean, I'm just thinking of one example off the top of my head. Upstairs in the attic, I've got boxes and boxes and boxes of old vinyl records. But I don't want to get rid of those because you know, the vinyl suddenly came back in fashion and they're selling record players again,
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:01
But do you have a record player for them?
Martin Furber 23:04
I do yes, it's up in the attic.
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:08
So you could you just don't want you want them to keep your options open?
Martin Furber 23:11
Yeah, that is something, because vinyl, you know, it belongs to a past era. People keep old gramophones don't they? To me, it's something, it's not rubbish. It's..I don't know, you're far better with your descriptive language than I am.
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:30
I wonder if there's just something different about records. I don't have any trouble getting rid of cassettes.
Martin Furber 23:36
Oh, I hate the things!
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:36
Oh, it, what were those? What were the eight tracks. That was it...
Martin Furber 23:38
Oh, eight tracks, oh that was before cassettes.
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:44
No problem getting rid of those. But vinyl. Yes. It's difficult to let go of even when you don't have a record player. You also, I think it may be if you collected them when they were current things, and not just nostalgic things. It may also be the nostalgia of I remember when that was than, when that was our song for whoever the hour was at that time. I think there's a lot of it. And there's a lot of that with holding on to things. You know.
Martin Furber 24:04
Yeah, holding on to the sentiment.
Denise Billen-Mejia 24:13
Yeah, you're holding on to the sentiment. It is recommended by many that you take a photograph and keep the photograph. But touching the photograph is not the same thing.
Martin Furber 24:03
No, I mean, this is it, this is just, well, while we're talking about the vinyl. I've got picture discs and coloured vinyl discs and that kind of thing. I mean, I suppose a lot of them are highly collectible, actually. But I don't think of them in monetary terms. It's just Yeah, it's the sentiment it's the whole vinyl era you know.
Denise Billen-Mejia 24:36
It's our youth.
Martin Furber 24:43
Yeah, our youth, yeah, back in the day. Yeah, but in terms of anything else? No, I've not has trouble letting go it's just getting that thing of you keep acquiring stuff and then it's a matter of right today's day I'm gonna tidy things up and sort things out, and then you end up with a big pile of stuff to get rid of. But I'll tell you something. When you do that, you know, I'll feel better for it afterwards. Having a big sort-out. Do you find that? If you clean the kitchen drawer out or a cupboard out or something,
Denise Billen-Mejia 25:15
There used to be a Tupperware ad. I think it was a Rubbermaid. Yeah, there used to be an ad here. A couple oh, we've got too much stuff. And they go out there, buy these big totes and they put everything away and it's organised and they said, Okay, now we gotta go buy more stuff. Yeah, that is the danger replacing it with more stuff, because you've really got to address why is it that you have the stuff? Yeah, sometimes it's just you don't want and there's also that weird phenomenon where things get cluttered, and you don't see it after a while. You just subtract it from the picture.
Martin Furber 25:47
Yeah. Absolutely.
Denise Billen-Mejia 25:51
Yeah, so your your brains keeping you in it's nice, comfortable place, so you don't have to deal with it.
Martin Furber 25:57
Yeah, you turn a blind eye to it.
Denise Billen-Mejia 25:58
I know, I was gonna ask what what business resolutions Do you have? You've had a pretty successful 2022, I think?
Martin Furber 26:10
I'm, I'm not complaining, actually it's been great.
Denise Billen-Mejia 26:13
Yeah. So, measuring success in number of people you have reached rather than whatever other criteria people may choose to use. You've got your... you've got this podcast, which is great for us. If everybody's listening, that's fabulous, so we're not just talking to each other. So we got this podcast, you've got your Lancashire Telegram, is it the Telegram or Telegraph?
Martin Furber 26:34
Telegraph, telegraph.
Yeah your article or column, which is every week, your you are, by the time this is being listened to at least putting the very finishing touches to your book, even if it is not actually in print. And you've got two sets of doctors offices where you see clients and you've just picked up another source and you're teaching in an area too. I'm thinking of the diversity and inclusion groups that you're working with.
Denise Billen-Mejia 26:35
Oh, yeah that's the charity work I do a role model story as part of a department for education, training thing going into schools and teaching children about diversity and acceptance in general.
Right,
Martin Furber 27:21
Just in general, just, just so everybody can embrace their differences.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:24
And that is the point of inclusion, everybody.
Martin Furber 27:27
Inclusion means everyone. That's my hashtag, by the way!
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:33
You've gone from zero to that. I don't think we knew each other in 2021? Or at the tail end of 2021?.
Martin Furber 27:40
Well, yeah, it was just before the Christmas when we joined Sarah's group.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:45
Oh, yes, that's right. Yeah. Because even though we were in the growth club, yeah, we hadn't crossed paths because of time difference. So yeah. So you've gone a long way.
Martin Furber 27:55
Thank you.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:56
So is this...Are you in? Do you have... set? You'd have to say what they are. But do you have things that you definitely wish to achieve next year? Are you ready to take a big breath and sort of enjoy what you've already achieved this year. Sort of integrate those things?
Martin Furber 28:15
Yeah, I think I've got to sort of the position where I want to be. What I would like to see now is... I'm not particularly reaching out in any more directions, I'd just like to consolidate what I have, for example, like this podcast, get more viewers and listeners to it. Excuse me, I don't want to set any more podcasts up or anything like that, I'm more than happy with what we're doing. To get some more listeners and viewers would be great. To be able to interact more with people in the comments, that kind of thing will be really lovely. The newspaper, that's great. Long may that continue? And then, as you say, I've reached out to some different bases to reach clients, because I'm now accepting referrals from the psychiatrists that I've worked with, which is nice as well. So yeah, it will be good to...As one client reaches the end of their course of treatment to get another one on board, and to basically help as many clients with different issues as possible. I think, yeah, I'd like to broaden the issues that I deal with. That would be nice, and sort of broaden the spectrum of clients, different age groups, different backgrounds, that kind of thing. Because I do find the work I do interesting, I enjoy what I do.
Denise Billen-Mejia 29:30
Good. Do you think you'll have a little less; you'll have more consistency and I'm seeing clients at this hour of the day because a big thing for me, as you know when I'm working with my physician friends is self care, which means protected time for yourself.
Martin Furber 29:48
Yeah, absolutely. But, for my part though, I always think that if people... I regard what I do is private healthcare. I think, to my mind private health care is, the people who can afford private health care or working usually. They don't want to use their work time for their private health care. So it should be, for me, I think, I should be available at times to suit them, which is why I'm available evenings and Saturdays, if required.
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:19
But, but you protect other time.
Martin Furber 30:21
Oh, I protect other time, yes, that, I absolutely make time for myself and my partner, because that's absolutely crucial, that we, as you know, invariably, Sunday is my one day I will not do anything. Not for religious reasons, for home reasons, because that's our day together. Which, which suits us both. And if we get that one day, then we can support each other the rest of the week and put up with each other's working hours and that kind of thing. That's fine. So anyway, enough about me, what about you, we are business plans this year Denise? Because...
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:51
I've morphed a little bit because I'm going to be doing some training for doctors. Then again, we're recording this before Christmas, isn't really going to be finalised until probably the middle of January, but it's definitely coming together. That I am hoping will allow me to be able to be a little more consistent with days that I can still do the things when I was in full retirement before I was well enough to work. I had, you know, I would go for lunch with friends. And you know, I want to be able to build some of that in.
Martin Furber 31:26
Ladies that lunch.
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:27
Ladies that lunch, exactly. I am married, so the weekend tends to be for family.
Martin Furber 31:30
Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:31
Because my husband. I mean, he works from home and he works weird hours anyway. But mostly because he has zoom meetings in different time zones. But, so that's important. And so I love what I do. But I think I need to get more structure to it. And my resolution is to be a little bit more accountable to myself and do things on time. Of course, there's always something it shows up as the year social things that show up Covid. For those of you don't know, I managed to catch Covid just as it was going away. I am fine, but it knocked out almost three weeks of work time, I couldn't do anything at all. And that threw me because it was it was I had booked out time to do all this stuff. And I hadn't booked clients so I could do all this stuff, good, because I don't have to go cancel clients clients. But it threw off late November and December for me. But I think we're catching up. I say we, the Royal we!
Martin Furber 32:36
Just addressing for one moment covid. You're fully vacced and boosted, aren't you?
Denise Billen-Mejia 32:41
Yes, absolutely, and I wear a mask, when I'm out. I was exhausted. Yeah, I wasn't in any danger at all. But I was exhausted. And I really couldn't. I was, I was actually saved by the World Cup. Who knew that I would start watching soccer again.
Martin Furber 33:02
Were you sat there with your little rattle and scarf?
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:03
No, I didn't quite go that far! What's interesting, and I was listening in Spanish with my husband is from the Dominican Republic. So we got the Telemundo version. So screaming Spanish, every time Argentina did well, as of course it has, we now know done very well. But it was it was sort of nice background and it didn't matter if I missed it because you know, it's soccer, who cares. But it was a little bit of a call-back to you know, when I was a kid my dad would be watching the soccer and I'd be wandering around making cups of tea and catching little bits now and again. It was nice. Yeah, so I'm hoping that my my goals really for this year is that I get a more, I can be a little bit less location dependent. I do have one or two patients/clients I see physically at the doctor's office. But for the most part, I can do it on Zoom. And I'm hoping that I'll be able to travel more in the coming year. And of course, there's always these factors that you can't control like air traffic control, people going on strike or the price of fuel going through the roof or some other epidemic coming through and everything closing down again, or at least restricting the way that people travel. So it's hard to plan for some of those things, but it's a good idea to have. This is what I always I always have a plan B and C. Unfortunately, I also happen to remind myself I need a D and an E and and F and a G. And yeah, make sure three really, really good ones.
Martin Furber 34:45
Yeah, it's good to plan ahead though. I mean, if Covid taught us anything, it is that everything we've got can suddenly be taken away at the flick of a switch in terms of the lockdowns happening. Okay, just getting back to that conversation we had earlier when one of my grandparents said all these tins are in case there's a war they never said in case of a plague, that was never on the agenda. Well, it may well have been your thought processes, even though I'm not allowed to mention the D word. It may have been on your radar that there could be some kind of big contagion or something.
Denise Billen-Mejia 35:20
I wonder if it was though, they had been through the big polio epidemic. When my grandma, you're 10 years younger me so you're presumably your grandparents are ten years younger than my grandparents, but my my oldest grandparent is of course long gone, was born in 1901. So that person went through it and my mother's mother was born in 98. So she had gone through two world wars, losing children to diseases we do not lose children to anymore. Yeah, thankfully. All of us, so o I think there were a lot of things they did, that they didn't talk about because it was this is just the way you live... Who needs to talk about it? This is what you know, what you do. You're listening to us now at least it's the eighth of January. Next week's edition. Yeah, well, how have Sarah Sarah. Next week's episode, we'll have Cheryl and Larry Elman and they're going to be talking about the Dave Elman... A lot of things but they'll be talking about the Dave Elman legacy conference, and we're putting a link in the show notes. That will seem to be a little erratic because they've nothing to do with this call. But we want people to have a chance to look at the conference because it's coming up on the 20th 21st and 22nd.
Martin Furber 36:41
It is yeah, and for people in the UK, and for perhaps people who aren't, just aren't that familiar with hypnosis and are just showing an interest. Dave Elman was a very famous hypnotist from the in the 1950s and 1960s. He was on television, and he trained medical doctors in the use of hypnosis is son is Larry Elman and his daughter in law is Cheryl Elman and they are on next week's podcast and they are sort of hypnosis royalty, part of a hypnosis dynasty, I suppose.
Denise Billen-Mejia 37:14
Indeed, indeed. So well worth tuning in again next week to listen to that conversation. And by all means, check out the link below ahead of time to know more about the conference, particularly if you are a hypnotist yourself, because there's tonnes of value in that conference.
Martin Furber 37:33
We do hope that you've enjoyed listening this week to the entire contents of Denise of mines house.
Denise Billen-Mejia 37:42
Well, we told you it's just two hypnotists talking.
Martin Furber 37:44
Yeah. Okay, I'll see you again next week Denise with our guests.
Denise Billen-Mejia 37:48
Okay, bye.
We hope you've enjoyed listening. Please remember, this podcast is designed to give you an insight into therapeutic hypnosis, and is for educational purposes only. So remember, consult with your own healthcare professional if you think something you've heard may apply to you or a loved one.
Martin Furber 38:15
If you found this episode useful, you can apply for free continuing professional development or CME credits. Using the link provided in the show notes. Feel free to contact either of us through the links in the show notes. Join us again next week.
